You should read this.

On a less emo note....

A few weeks ago, back in October, I told my dad we needed some pumpkins. He bought three one day and I had to wait patiently until Halloween day to carve them (they'd rot otherwise). So October 31 rolled around and my dad woke me up early.. ahem 9am... to start the carving.















Christie's

October has come and gone and so have my dreams of winning the blog-off (Congrats Leslie!). Last night around 11 I was lying in my bathtub listening to sappy Jon Foreman music and here's what I was thinking... I hate my blog. It's okay if I lose. It's not that I really hate it, I just think it's a fraud. Well, mainly I'm a fraud.

The following is an actual conversation I had with a male high school student on Wednesday.

I just got home from my first full day subbing at the high school. And let me tell you, it was a full day indeed! Initially high school was my first choice out of all the schools to sub at, mainly because they seem, for the most part, self-sufficient. My thoughts on high school students has changed a bit after actually having contact with them.

It never fails that while I'm working at Habanero's the subject of music comes up. Usually it starts out because someone wants to change what station the XM is on. Most of the people I work with like the country station, I prefer the Blend, and sometimes we listen to 70s on 7. In any case, there's always someone who doesn't like the music. One day a few weeks ago I was talking to my friends Bristen & Steph about the music they like. Bristen likes Texas Country and Steph likes hip hop, and I like music that's actually good ;-) We each think what we like is best - thus the cd swap 2009 was born. We are each making each other a cd of our favorite songs and we have promised to listen to every song the whole way through. I'm excited because I like getting new music and sharing my taste with others. I just made mine and it's a bit melancholy because it's grey outside, but it's still going to be the best. Here's my playlist...

I'm really not sure how this happened, and it definitely wasn't in my plan anywhere, but I now have four jobs. Well, I have three and applied for a fourth today. But I'm pretty sure I'm a shoe-in, so let's just say I have four jobs. The main reason this is good news is because when I get older and have children I can say, "when I was your age I worked four jobs...". Even though hour wise I don't work that much during the week. Here's a run-down of all my employments..

About a month or so ago I began the exciting task of fundraising for my year in China. ELIC has been really great providing resources and training for this endeavor, and one of the things they provided was a book called Funding Your Ministry by Scott Morton. I highly recommend the book for anyone who has to raise support for any type of ministry. It's full of helpful information and Morton writes in a way that is both biblical and practical. Well anyway, at one point he writes about praying for your donors and even praying for people to give without asking. He gives examples from his own life, where he just prayed people would give and sure enough the checks came in. I remember reading that and thinking, man it sure would make my life a whole lot easier if people just gave and I didn't have to do anything. Kinda like manna falling from heaven or something. But really I thought, he probably prays a lot more than me and he's even written a book so that kind of stuff only happens to people who are super spiritual - it won't happen to me. Honestly, my whole perspective on fundraising was a lot like pulling teeth. Necessary, but not enjoyable. People don't just give, you have to coax them.

Some of you may have already heard, but for the rest of my faithful followers I have a pretty big announcement to make. October is officially blog-off month. At least in my calendar.

Man, I was doing such a good job posting for like a week there and then I go AWOL for over a month. Sheesh. A lot has happened since my experience at the Clinique counter and I might recap later but for now I have a really good story. I feel bad it's been so long but I think this is the perfect way to come back.

Yesterday I did something I've always wanted to do. What did I do, you might ask... Sky diving? Nope. Climb Mt. Everest? Not a chance. Meet Tyra Banks? In my dreams. I got a makeover at the Clinique counter! I've always seen those girls sitting in the tall white chairs with a lady standing over them testing eye shadows and trying on different foundations, and I wonder, how does that happen? How do you get to be one of those people? Do you just go up and ask, "hey, will you do my makeup?" Well, if you're me you start by knocking over a display case.

Yesterday was a pretty average day, as you probably already noticed from my lackluster entry. Up until about 10:15 there was nothing really to blog about. But to explain what happened at 10:15 I have to go back about a week....

Today I got on facebook, like I do almost every single day of my life, and I found that my friend Grace tagged me in a note called "BBC must read books." It was a list of 100 well-known books that according to the BBC everyone should read but the average person usually has only read 6 (probably in their high school English classes). Grace has always been an avid reader and she knocked out a whopping 47. I was seriously impressed. I decided to count up my number and I am pleased to report that I've read 17. Not quite as good as 47, but respectable. So this got me thinking, if the BBC thinks I should read all these, then maybe I should. I hopped on my bike and headed to the library, planning on checking out Pride and Prejudice, it was number one on the list. I saw the movie my freshman year of college and have yet to fall in love with Mr. Darcy, but most girls list it as one of their top reads. Every girl can't be wrong. Right? Well I get to the library and the only Jane Austen the Ward County Public Library offers is The Complete Works. Sure I could very easily check that out and maybe even knock a few titles off the list, but I hate big books. Even if it's lots of books put together, there's something about the thickness that intimidates me. In 8th grade the fourth Harry Potter book came out and that sucker was like 500 pages and even though I'd read the first three book my love for all things wizard couldn't overcome my fear of big books. So instead of looking for another title on the BBC list I went with The Devil Wears Prada. Definitely not anywhere near the list, but hey, I'm an American! Why should I listen to the BBC anyway?

Okay so it's day two of consecutive (that doesn't look right, but I spell checked it) blogging. And since my last post I was thinking more about the question and I have another profession to add - President of the United States. Seriously I could never be the first lady! I have too many skeletons in my closet that would be dug up as we campaign. Also I'd probably have to get my hair cut short and wear lots of dress suits and sweaters. Well, mainly I don't want to cut my hair, I actually like wearing suits and sweaters - I just don't want to be told that's what I should wear. It's kinda like when I go running with someone (ahem.. never) and they try to tell me I'm doing a good job and I should keep going, even if I am doing okay it makes me want to stop. That's not a good quality to have. Ugh, stubbornness.

I don't have a question of the day for today (shoutout to Sarah and Mindy for actually responding!) so I figured I would just write about my day so far. Interesting stuff I know. It's kinda like I have my own reality tv show, only it's not on tv and I don't get paid. I woke up this morning and decided to go to the complex (Monahans' version of the gym). I tried to go on Saturday but they were closed so instead I came back home and spent an hour on facebook, so it's been a while and I've been eating lots of Mexican food... so yeah. I have a pretty relaxed attitude about working out, anything is better than nothing, so I don't really push myself. I spent 15 minutes on the elliptical machine, did some crunches and decided to call it a day. Another one of my not so wonderful qualities. To top it off, today is Mocha Monday at McDonalds, so I drove down the street to get my free mocha. Did I particulary want one? No. Do I even really like mochas? No. Were they free? Yep. Thank you very much. This is a quality I get from my grandma who has drawers full of hotel shampoos.

After McDonald's I came back home to shower and get ready for the day and such. I'm taking an online course right now on fundraising for ministry and I like to look semi-decent for that, since it is video conferencing. I always get really nervous before the course starts, but as soon I sign in and we get started I feel much more comfortable. It's actually a really great course that I would recommend to anyone thinking about going into full-time ministry or mission work. The company is called Kingdom Come Training and they do these video conferencing classes 4 days a week for 3 weeks, teaching you the Biblical bases for support raising and how to effectively cultivate and minister to your donors. Everyone I know hates raising money, but this has really helped to change my perspective. Sure I still get nervous thinking about talking to people about giving, but it's getting better.

And for the rest of my day? The only thing planned is the Bachelorette finale! Every girl in America will be watching and I'm just as engrossed in this twisted version of romance as the next. Personally I want Ed to win so Kiptyn can be the next Bachelor, but rumors are circulating that Reid is back too. I wasn't a Reid fan at first, but he started growing on me, and I kinda think he and Jillian would make a good couple too. Can't wait to see who she picks!

Lately I've been pretty lazy about posting and I think that needs to change. Nothing's worse (okay there are a lot of things that are worse..) than a blog that hasn't been updated in like a month. So in order to remedy this problem I've challenged myself to write for the next seven days. I don't have anything in particular to write about, but I think that's okay. This is my blog and if I want to write about nothing I can do that. I even think it might be better. Before I thought I had to have an idea or a theme or an event to write about, those are good ideas, but let's face it - life in Monahans can be pretty boring and if I just wait for something to happen to be able to post then I'll end up with a pretty sparse blog. So here we go, day one...

My new Sunday afternoon routine consists of going to church in Midland and then spending time afterwards at Barnes & Nobles, enjoying the half soup half sandwich combo. This past Sunday after having a good few hours in the cafe side I decided to wander through the book section, already determined to just look, because 1) I left my 25% off coupon at home, and 2) as a former library employee I've come to realize the beauty of public libraries. Anyway, I looked around for a while, browsing travel books, bestsellers, cookbooks, and everything in between. Just as I was about to leave I passed by the bargain books table and found a copy of You're Wearing That? by Deborah Tannen for only $5! It was a bargain I couldn't resist!

I realize that most people don't know who Tannen is, so allow me to introduce you to her. I first discovered Tannen my sophomore year of college in one of my linguistics classes when we were assigned another of her books, That's Not What I Meant. In the linguistics world you don't get more famous than Deborah Tannen. As a socio-linguist and professor at Georgetown University she has bridged the gap between academia and pop culture more than any other scholar in her field. Her books have been on the New York Times Bestseller list and she's had appearances on multiple television shows. She writes about the way people communicate and how to understand different communication styles. In the book I just bought she looks specifically at mother-daughter relationships. She also has another book that I want to read called You Just Don't Understand: Women and Men in Conversation. Tannen's books are well-respected in the linguistics community as well as entertaining and easy to read for the general public. I know I sound like her publicist or something, but I really think people should know about this lady, her stellar books, and the wonderful world of linguistics!

Now that I've given my spiel, what are some of your favorite books/authors?

It's been about two weeks since I graduated college, packed up my life, said goodbye to all my friends and made the 8 and a half hour drive across the state of Texas. Needless to say a lot has changed in my life over these past fourteen or so days. This definitely wasn't my first choice of what to do after I graduated, but you know what? I'm actually kinda enjoying it (don't tell my dad that). I know that I'll probably feel differently in a few months, when it doesn't just feel like I'm home for summer vacation, and all my boxes are completely unpacked and the permanent feeling of everything has settled. But for now I've decided to make a list of things or reasons I like living in Monahans. So, here we go (in no particular order)....

I get to go on walks with my grandma. Right now this is a hypothetical statement, because she keeps cancelling on me. Every afternoon I call her to see if we're going to go walking and everytime she says we'll start tomorrow, or Tuesday, or in a few days. Come to think of it I think maybe she's avoiding me....

Watching Deadliest Warrior with my parents. I never thought I'd like a show on SpikeTV, but it really is pretty interesting. Each episode they put two famous warriors or tribes against each other to see who would win in a full out battle. They have all these tests and simulations to prove which weapons and defenses are most advanced. I've seen William Wallace vs. Shaka Zulu, Apache vs. Gladiator, and they are supposed to have an episode that shows the IRA vs. Taliban, talk about good tv! Which leads me to....

We have TV! For the past three years the only televison I saw was on my MacBook or the occasional friends house for season premiers or finales. I actually didn't miss it that much because you can watch pretty much anything online these days, but it is nice to have a television again.

I spend less time online. My parents don't have our wireless router set up because it apparently makes their computer run really slow for some reason. I was going to call the internet company and have them fix it so I could use my laptop, but I don't think I'm going to. Since the only computer I can use now is in my parents office, it makes it a lot easier for me to not be on facebook as much or read celebrity gossip all the time. Life is better with less internet.

People skills. When you live in a small town everyone either knows who you are, who your family is, or recognizes you from somewhere. Avoiding people is impossible. That makes things a little difficult for me because when I was at school I would see people that I know, good friends, and I would just put my iPod in and pretend I didn't see them because I didn't want to have to talk to them and go through the whole "how are you?" "good, how are you?" "blah, blah, blah." I can't do that here, everyone is really friendly. And I know that A&M is supposed to be one of the friendliest campuses in the nation with the whole "howdy" thing, but seriously A&M has got nothing on Monahans, America. I'm forced to make small talk with people who know who I am while I have no idea who they are. For an introvert this is an extremely uncomfortable thing, but I'm getting better.

Living is free and I make $$. I know it'd probably sound better not to put this on the list, but seriously it is a really good thing.

last semester in my logos group we studied the book of james. there are lots of themes throughout the book, the most obvious is probably the correlation between faith and works, but the one that challenges me the most is the tongue. james devotes almost a whole chapter of his book to this small organ. and he's not the only one, proverbs says that life and death are in the power of the tongue (prov. 18:21). when we were discussing it in our bible study, my partner ben brought up a quote by abraham lincoln, "better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt." it's true that often we are too quick to speak and our words cause a world of damage and hurt, but what about the flip side of that? what about the power of life in our words? i think for a long time i lived under the same assumption that abe lincoln did, that we should be quiet, that way people might think we're deep or stoic or something like that. we can remain a mystery. but now i think that's just an excuse. no - it's more like a form of bondage, holding me back from speaking truth and healing and encouragement and praise and even my own opinion on things.

all that to say, having a blog freaks me out. a lot. i've spent the past few days thinking of posts in my head over and over again and then talking myself out of writing them because i don't think they're interesting enough or something stupid like that. i'm getting better though, i posted this right?

"the pressure disappeared with the first word he put on paper. he thought - while his hand moved rapidly - what a power there was in words; later for those who heard them, but first for the one who found them; a healing power, a solution, like the breaking of a barrier. he thought, perhaps the basic secret the scientists have never discovered, the first fount of life, is that which happens when a thought takes shape in words."
-ayn rand, The Fountainhead

everyone i know that starts a blog usually says they never will. they also begin by saying how reluctant they are to write, how they're unsure that anyone will read it, how they are afraid they won't have anything meaningful to say. i'm no different.

and yet, here i am - opening up my tightly guarded vault for all the cyber world to see.